All work and no play doesn’t have to mean no jokes, so we have put together a list of all the best funny work sayings for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny work sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Work Sayings
Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.
Work snacks are the secret to surviving the day.
A team is a machine with many parts: I’m the off switch.
I practice work stress yoga. It’s just like regular yoga, but with more screaming.
Coffee: because adulting is hard.
Congrats on surviving another year without being fired!
Hard work is its own reward after the coffee kicks in.
Sorry for the delay, I was too busy replying to my other 100 emails.
They say there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team,’ but there’s definitely a ‘me’ if you look hard enough.
I’m not stressed. I’m just trying to figure out how to avoid working.
My team is great. We work together like an old car: it takes time to get started
Stress at work? I prefer the term ‘extreme career enthusiasm.’
My keyboard must be broken; pressing ‘Escape’ doesn’t take me anywhere.
Procrastinators unite…tomorrow.
Work: where I’m forward-looking, just toward weekends.
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
Our team works best like a silent movie – no talking, just wild gesticulations.
I’m out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.
I’ve got 99 problems, and work-life balance is 98 of them.
Success is 99% coffee and 1% avoiding coworkers.
Work attire: the art of looking like you tried without actually trying.
Work stress is just my brain doing push-ups.
The ‘I’ in ‘team’ is hidden in the A-hole. Makes sense for our group.
I stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about.
I love the sound of ‘we need to talk’ in emails.
Deadlines are suggestions, right?
I’m just here to collect a paycheck
I used up all my sick leave, so I called in dead.
I don’t get paid enough to care this much.
I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.
Behind every successful employee is a substantial amount of coffee.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Ctrl + Alt + Delete: The universal work reset button.
The first 5 days of the week are the hardest.
Working hard or hardly working? Why not both?
Monday is the day I like to gift myself a second coffee to pretend I’m energized.
I’m not overworked. I’m just underpaid for what I do.
My job is 90% staring at screens, 10% panicking about deadlines.
I’ve perfected my job role: professional meeting attendee.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
I’m not a workaholic. I’m work-frolic because I dance through the chaos.
Dear Monday, nobody likes you. Stop showing up uninvited.
I work hard because my boss lets me…when they’re not watching.
Time management is a great way to spend time managing your time.
Multitasking: The art of stressing about many things all at once.
I asked my co-worker to be more specific. They sent me a detailed blank stare.
My career plan: make coffee, work, retire.
There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there is a ‘me’.
Teamwork makes the dream work…unless your team sucks.
Teamwork: because we can blame each other for everything.
Happy Workiversary! You’ve officially stayed longer than the office plants!
The problem with communication is the ‘other person’.
Why work harder when you can work smarter…and blame it on your coworkers?
The coffee machine is the real meeting room where all decisions are made.
Why work harder when you can work smarter…and blame it on your coworkers?
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
I didn’t work this hard to be this broke.
Great teamwork is like a good marriage—lots of patience, understanding, and distractions.
Email communication: where ‘please see attached’ is code for ‘I haven’t done this yet.’
Life without coffee is like a broken pencil—pointless.
Coworkers make work interesting-sometimes for reasons we cannot explain
I’m all about balance. 80% work, 20% looking at cat videos.
Office coffee is like office gossip—strong, bitter, and never enough.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, and motivation.
Stress? That’s just my adult word for ‘too much adulting.
Bosses are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
Who needs a work-life balance when you have free office snacks?
I have a strong relationship with office coffee, but it’s complicated.
Nothing makes you more productive than the last minute.
In search of my job’s autosave feature. Lost my motivation somewhere around here.
I love the work-life balance…especially the part where I don’t work.
I work hard because my dreams are big, but my bank account is small.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
I survived another meeting that could have been a text.
Some say the key to balance is moderation. I say it’s the mute button on conference calls.
My daily work routine: Rush, panic, eat lunch, repeat.
I have a healthy work-life balance. It’s 80% coffee, 20% cake.
Why do it today when it can be a panic-inducing emergency tomorrow?
Our team is so cohesive, we stick together like gum on a shoe – not always by choice.
Mondays are proof that weekends are way too short.
My job is a lot like gardening, I plant seeds and hope something grows.
I work because I love money. Just kidding, I love avoiding stress.
There’s an ‘I’ in ‘team’ if you look hard enough in the reflection of my coffee cup.
I’m working hard so my future dog can have a backyard.
We need to invent a day between Saturday and Sunday.
My computer screen is a magic mirror that says I need more sleep.
My work is so much fun, I forget I’m working—until I look at my paycheck.
If work was so great, the rich would have kept it for themselves.
We’re like a sports team; I’m not sure what kind, but definitely one that doesn’t win much.
The best part of coming to work is going home at the end of the day.
The best part about going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
A good office is like a good sandwich—full of stuff you like and things you don’t care about.
I’m out here living my best life, one spreadsheet at a time.
Whoever said you can’t have it all clearly never tried to balance a laptop on a treadmill.
I plan to do absolutely nothing all day and still somehow manage to be late.
Work hard in silence; let your coffee machine make the noise.
Emails are like gremlins; they multiply by the night and feast on my sanity.
I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.
I’m not slacking off. My job is just in energy-saving mode.
Working as a team means half the work and twice the credit.
Some people graduate with honors; I am just honored to graduate.
I don’t wear the same clothes to work every day. I wear pajamas to work every day.
Lunch break: the time to discuss what you’re going to eat for dinner.
Is it casual Friday yet? Because my spirit animal is a pair of sweatpants.
Stress is the secret ingredient to a successful workday.
I wish my job had a snooze button.
Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.
Office gossip is the duct tape of coworker relationships.
My team’s spirit animal is a sloth – we stick together slowly but surely.
My team is great. We work together like an old car: it takes time to get started.
My paycheck is like a magic trick, one minute it’s there and the next—poof—gone.
Productivity is just procrastination with deadlines.
Work-life balance? Sorry, no results found. Try again.
I love teamwork. It lets you blame someone else for eating the last donut.
My idea of a perfect workday is one where no work happens.
Work-life balance? I’m more of a ‘work-life comedy’ person.
My dream job is one where I don’t have to work.
I always bring a notebook to meetings. It makes people think I care.
I love my job, it’s the work I’m not fond of.
Work clothes? More like, ‘How long can I wear the same shirt before it starts to smell?’
When life gives you Mondays, go back to bed.
My office culture? Pretend to work while others pretend to care.
Teamwork: the art of making someone else do your work.
Work hard, nap hard.
Our office doesn’t gossip; we distribute essential company news.
Lunch breaks are like adult recess. The slide is now a sandwich.
The walk from my desk to the break room was nice. I might go on vacation there again tomorrow.
My co-worker’s stapler is more dependable than Monday’s motivational meeting.
I’m just here to collect a paycheck.
Today I will work hard and complain about it just as hard.
Another year down and you’re still the reigning champion of the ‘longest lunch break’. Congrats!
Technology is great…until it crashes during a meeting.
Teamwork is dreamwork, and dreams are mostly weird.
This meeting could have been an email.
Balance is having the same amount of coffee in your cup as hours slept last night.
Our team is environmentally friendly: we recycle all our unused ideas.
I’m not running late, I’m just early for tomorrow.
I communicate best through sarcastic emails and passive-aggressive notes.
Coffee: the only reason I show up to work.
Appreciate your job, not many people can look this busy doing nothing.
Work hard, dream big, and keep your Wi-Fi signal strong.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
We’re a finely tuned team. I bring the chaos, they handle the panic.
My co-worker’s spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.
My coffee is demanding a raise for dealing with my work stress.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
My keyboard is my instrument, and I’m composing the symphony of hard work.
I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.
Some people work hard. Others are hardly working.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for their things.
You’ve put up with us for another year, and all you got was this lousy card. Happy anniversary!
I have a great work-life balance: 70% work, 30% pretending to work.
Work is the curse of the drinking class. — Oscar Wilde
Stress level: Trying to fold a fitted sheet.
Our team bond is strong. It’s like super glue; it takes forever to come apart and leaves a residue.
Some days, the best thing about the job is that the chair spins.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Congratulations on another 365 days of skillfully evading the ‘when are you leaving?’ question!
My office dress code is: business on the top, pajamas on the bottom.
Group projects helped me understand why Batman works alone.
My job is a comedy of errors, I just need a laugh track.
Our bosses might not always get it, but here’s how we feel about them:
I wear a suit because my job is serious, but my heart says sweatpants.
Work: where your dreams of a clutter-free desk go to die.
Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But then again, I wasn’t the one in charge.
I don’t have time to manage my time; I’m too busy trying to manage my distractions.
Teamwork makes the dream work, except when you have that one coworker.
When laughter echoes through the office, productivity soars.
My team follows a strict diet: we swallow our pride.
I’m multitasking: procrastinating and being unproductive at the same time.
At work, I’m as stealthy as a cat. Nobody notices me until I step on a computer mouse.
I’m not sure what my job is, but I’m pretty good at pretending.
If nothing is impossible, I’ve been doing the impossible for years.
Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.
A job is like a relationship; it’s complicated, but you stick around for the perks.
I’m not antisocial; I’m just selectively social. Mainly, I select not to.
Being the boss just means you have more people to blame when things go wrong.
I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring.
Keep calm and pretend this is on the lesson plan.
Success is like a unicorn; it takes a bit of magic and a lot of belief.
My coffee mug may be half empty, but my job satisfaction is full… of sarcasm.
I follow my passion at work—the passion for not working overtime.
I’m calling out for tomorrow. I don’t have enough brain cells to show up.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel
My job taught me the art of the invisible: doing nothing and looking busy.
The best part of my job is that the coffee is free.
I have an ambition to sleep eight hours a day, whatever that is.
We’re a green office. We recycle jokes every day.
I would like to work less, but I’m addicted to Netflix.
Let me Google that real quick to pretend I know what I’m doing.
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. — Douglas Adams
My boss said I intimidate others. I said, ‘Good, I’m doing my job.’
Sometimes my greatest work accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.
Coworkers: the people you share a cubicle with and an endless group chat you can’t leave.
I’m not stressed. I’m just passionately chaotic.
Overworked and underpaid. Is that the American Dream?
My workday starts after my coffee ends.
Work: where your computer reminds you that your storage is full, just like your patience.
My workday: 80% trying to be productive, 20% checking if it’s the weekend yet.
After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
Deadlines are just my boss’s way of saying he believes in my time travel skills.
One more year of being the office’s favorite coffee fetcher. Cheers to that!
I love long meetings. It gives me time to think about my life decisions.
I love my job, but my office is more of a hostage situation.
I’m the best team player. I delegate everything to others.
A meeting is an event where minutes are kept and hours are lost.
Jobs are like toddlers, if it’s too quiet, you know something’s wrong.
They say time flies when you’re having fun. Is that why this work year felt like a century?
Work smarter, not harder—unless you’re trying to impress your boss.
I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year.
My favorite part of working is the 2 pm snack.
Nothing says teamwork like awkward silences and muted microphones.
My computer asked me to start ‘living’ today. I think it needs an update.
Deadlines are like vampires—they suck the life out of you.
Work-life balance is like a unicorn; often discussed, rarely spotted.
The only time I’m on time is when I’m waiting for the clock to strike 5.
Work-life balance is a myth, like clean offices or free lunch.
I would quit, but I’m too broke to go anywhere else.
So that is it for our list of Hilarious Work Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
For more great ideas, check out our other lists of Short Teamwork Quotes, Funny Letter Board Quotes, Inspirational Teamwork Quotes and Short Funny Morning Quotes.
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About the Author
Laynni Deir
I am Laynni Deir, writer and editor of Purely Lists. There are times when you are looking for inspiration or aren’t sure what to say and I am committed to providing lists of the best quotes, sayings, messages, puns or captions for any occasion. Whether you are looking for a positive quote, a message for a card, a fun saying for a letter board or caption for your next post or story, you will find the perfect option here.
The goal of Purely Lists is to provide a comprehensive and diverse set of lists to cover every situation from holidays and celebrations to uplifting quotes and general motivation. Whether you are looking for something deep and profound, funny and foolish or positive and encouraging, we strive to offer easy, fast and accessible options.