The fun and madness of Halloween are just around the corner, so we have put together a list of all the best short Halloween quotes for you to share. And if you’re looking for short Halloween quotes for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Short Halloween Quotes
During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.
It’s time to have some skele-fun
Carving out quality time for spooky season.
It’s all treats or all pumpkin. No in-between.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders.
If you didn’t get tricked, was it even Halloween?
I did some exorcise to prepare for all this candy
Witch better have my candy
Wishing you a spook-tacular night full of chills and thrills.
“Halloween is right around the corner. You can tell because all the stores are decked out for Christmas.” — Stephen Colbert
This witch can be bribed with chocolate
“I go for a look which I call ‘Dead but Delicious.’” — Vladislav, “What We Do in the Shadows”
“Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.” – Edgar Allan Poe
“If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath — would you be standing in the horror section?” — Randy Meeks, “Scream”
“If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey
“On Halloween you get to become anything that you want to be.” – Ava Dellaria
“I didn’t know if you have kids you need five different costumes.” — Mindy Kaling
I’ve got tricks and treats up my sleeve.
“If I’d known you were coming, I could’ve made up the dungeon.” — Morticia Addams, “The Addams Family”
Wrapped up and ready—you’re clearly the mummy of the year.
I’m only human, I’ve got a skeleton in me
Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October days.
Not going to eat candy? That’s witchful thinking.
Can you tell me witch way to the pumpkin patch?
No more treats? This is unBOOlievable
You really don’t know jack-o’-lantern, do you?
Call it what it is: pure squash ambition.
“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious, and spooky.” – Andrew Gold
Wishing you a fang-tastic Howl-oween!
Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus
“Every October I’m kidnapped and forced to scare birds at a local pumpkin patch.” — Conan O’Brien
“Has it ever occurred to you that it might be unsettling to see you arise from the grave to visit me?” — David Kessler, “American Werewolf in London”
Not every witch lives in Salem
Halloween’s not the same if I can’t be witch you.
“I see dead people.” – The Sixth Sense
“For Halloween I’m going as a narcissist.” — Conan O’Brien
“How many more months of Halloween this year?” — Jim Gaffigan
Don’t forget your spoo-key—this house doesn’t unlock itself.
Slipped on a pumpkin and totally lost my gourd.
Witch better have my candy.
This is my resting witch face
“Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.” — Tim Burton
Bugs and hisses, witches!
Don’t make me drop a house on you
“Happy Halloween to all. And to all a good fright.” — Hubie Dubois, “Hubie Halloween”
Tell everybunny it’s time for a Hoppy Halloween.
“Kinda spooky that Halloween has never fallen on Friday the 13th.” — Stephen Colbert
A real witch is nothing without her ghoulfriends
“Wench! Trollop! You buck-toothed, mop-riding firefly from hell!” — Billy Butcherson, “Hocus Pocus”
“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.” — Glen Nesbit
“Halloween is so close I can practically taste the children’s tears.” — Frances Bean Cobain
Your costume? Couldn’t scare less.
Brrr… it’s cold in here. There must be some spirits in the atmosphere!
Don’t make me get the flying monkeys
“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” ― Ogden Nash, “Reflections on Ice Breaking”
girl dressed as witch, holding pumpkin and broom, portrait
“Mom, tell the Zombie to stop saying stuff about me!” — Courtney Babcock, “ParaNorman”
Got a bone to pick with every skeleton at this party.
You can always count on a vampire to go for the blood orange.
I’m not playing Twix when I say I love this holiday.
“My poor little sister should be out trick-or-treating. But look at her. You’ve kept her from a normal childhood, and it’s turned her into a wall ornament!” — Marnie Piper, “Halloweentown”
The Halloween candy is spook-tacular.
Cracked jack-o’-lantern? No problem, there’s always a pumpkin patch.
“You rang?” — Lurch, “The Addams Family”
You’ve got me under your spell.
This will definitely come in candy.
“It’s pronounced ‘Fronkensteen.’” — Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, “Young Frankenstein”
Stressed, blessed, pumpkin obsessed
Can’t hide it, I love pumpkin spice a whole latte.
“Catching and holding the attention of an eight-year-old on Halloween is like trying to catch a hummingbird with a piece of dental floss. It’s theoretically possible, but not very likely.” ― Abbi Waxman, “Adult Assembly Required”
“We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!” – Humbert Wolfe
“Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” — Stephen Graham Jones
“I put a spell on you because you’re mine.”- Jay Hawkins
“You don’t know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.” — Maggot, “Corpse Bride”
“Every day is Hal”There’s only 365 days left until next Halloween!” – The Nightmare Before Christmas
This is the one time a year I could truly be myself
“Ah, the old express bus to Hell. No lines, no waiting!” — Cyrus, “The Frighteners”
So pumped for Halloween I could burst like an overripe gourd.
Just a little pumpkin spice to sweeten the season.
Hope your Halloween is hex-tra special this year.
I have one thing to say about this candy: Bone appétit!
“Little tip, when you show up to a Halloween party not dressed up, it’s the same as showing up to a normal party in a costume.” — Josh Groban
“You know, I’ve always wanted a child. And now I think I’ll have one on toast!” — Winifred Sanderson, “Hocus Pocus”
“Never trust the living.” – Beetlejuice
“My Halloween costume is Godot. I’m not showing up at the party, just texting the host every 10 minutes that I’m on my way.” — Wynne McLaughlin
“Beware! As you trick or treat. These creatures will find you and make you smell their feet.” — Casey Browning, “Ol’ Halloween Night”
“Where there is no imagination there is no horror.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
“Where my ghouls at?” – Monster Highloween, isn’t it? For some of us.” – Tim Burton
“Be afraid, be very afraid.” – Ronnie, The Fly
Your costume is so realistic that it’s un-candy!
“Keep calm and carry a wand.” — A.W. Jantha, “Hocus Pocus & The All New Sequel”
“I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed.” – Rihanna
Grab your broomstick so we can make a clean getaway.
I’m already ten steps ahead of the carve this year.
Have yourself the happiest of Hollow-weens!
“This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.” — Wednesday Addams, “The Addams Family”
Frankenstein skips the dance floor with his two left feet.
“I can’t believe I’m in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a school night.” — Buffy, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
“My own brother, a damn, blood-sucking vampire. You wait until Mom finds out, buddy!” — Sam Emerson, “The Lost Boys”
No playing it small. Go big or gourd home.
If you’ve got it, haunt it
“There are three things that I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.” — Linus, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
“It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” – Brackett, Halloween
“That’s nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats. — Linus, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Skeletons don’t have the guts to dress up for Halloween.
“It obviously doesn’t do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can’t see you!” — Juno, “Beetlejuice”
Funny Halloween Quotes
“I don’t see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one.” — Linus, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
“It’s that special time of year where we voluntarily imbibe pumpkin-spiced lattes: the coffee that tastes like a candle.” — John Oliver
“How many girls are telling themselves right now: “Dammit Becky learn your lesson; even on Halloween, glitter is NEVER worth it.” — Anne Kendrick
Just out here creepin’ it real, as usual.
“If you want to scare your boyfriend next Halloween, come dressed as what he fears most. Commitment.” — Peter Nelson
Time to get this party startled!
Hocus Pocus and chill?
“For Halloween, I’m going as that feeling you get at a store when you try to refold a sweater property and put it back on the shelf.” — Rob Delaney
Still searching for a boo who’s my blood type.
The ghosts really brought the boo-ty this year.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless
“There’s something incredibly liberating about a holiday that encourages children to take candy from strangers.” — Steve Almond
Out here feeling gourd and festive.
“Now Halloween’s over, it’s time to start thinking about the next time you’re gonna annoy your neighbors — caroling.” — Ellen DeGeneres
I will gourd this candy with my life!
“The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It’s boring.” — Jack Goodman, “American Werewolf in London”
There aren’t any skeletons in my closet, but I do have some in my trunk
“There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.” – Collette
“Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!” – Rusty Fischer
Halloween’s the one day you’re supposed to come as you aren’t.
Witch parking. All others will be toad.
Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!
“We’ve made it to Sunday. Halloween is still 4 days away. We have to stay strong together. It will all be over soon.” — Jesse Tyler Ferguson
“I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.” — Gomez Addams, “The Addams Family”
“This Halloween I’m going as a human disaster that way I don’t have [to] get dressed up.” — Jim Gaffigan
I’m a witch every day. Not just for Halloween.
Halloween is going to be great—I can feel it in my bones!
I can’t make everyone happy—I’m not pumpkin spice!
I hope you find this humerus
Happy Hallo-weenie!
Just checked my horror-scope—looks like a killer night ahead.
“Halloween is the only time people can become what they want to be without getting fired.” — Sylvester Stallone
Halloween makes me so (candy) corny
“Maybe you could help me get out of here, you know, because I got to tell you, this dead thing… it’s just too creepy.” — Beetlejuice, “Beetlejuice”
The dead rise again, bats fly, terror strikes and screams echo, for tonight it’s Halloween.
Let’s give ’em pumpkin worth talking about.
“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Eatin’ purple people and it sure is fine.” Sheb Wooley, — “The Purple People Eater”
Getting kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.
“I ate John. I wept the entire meal. Even though he tasted delicious.” — Nandor, “What We Do in the Shadows”
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
“Being normal is vastly overrated.” — Aggie Cromwell, “Halloweentown”
You’re the best of the bunch—truly the pick of the patch.
“Was deciding if I should dress as Batman or Spiderman for Halloween, when I realized I’m a grown man. So, Batman.” — Stephen Colbert
“So apparently no one dresses up for Halloween here. I wish I had known that before I used greasepaint for my moustache.” — Pam Beesly, “The Office”
“Well, fancy! We desire children.” – Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
I can’t Reese-ist a good Halloween pun
“Just put on my Halloween costume! This year I’m going as ‘Guy Who Thinks Halloween Is On October 18th.’” — Stephen Colbert
Halloween night Pop Rocks my world
“Halloween is just finals week for parents.” — Jim Gaffigan
All my best ghoulfriends are total witches
“I could have had candy apples and gum and cookies and money and all sorts of things. But, no, I had to listen to you, you blockhead.” — Sally, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
Welcome to the pun-kin patch, where the jokes never rot.
“It’s showtime!” — Beetlejuice, “Beetlejuice”
This is where the magic happens
I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
When the witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers ’tis near Halloween.
It’s the most frightful time of the fear.
Starbursting to eat all this candy
“Bing, bong. ‘C’mon lady, let’s go. Halloween, doorbells, candy. Let’s pick it up.’” — Jerry Seinfeld
“It’s alive!” – Frankenstein
Beware of Resting Witch Face.
“As a kid, Halloween was amazing. You dress like a superhero, you bang on your neighbor’s door, and they give you candy. I do that today, and my neighbor wants me arrested.” — Jim Gaffigan
“Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?” – Linus, It’s the Great Pumpkin
I don’t celebrate Halloween, I am Halloween
Fangs for the memories
“I don’t understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks.” — Charlie Brown, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
“Trick or treats come only once a year, and I missed it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead.” — Sally, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
“Why spiders? Why couldn’t it be ‘follow the butterflies?’” — Ron Weasley, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets”
There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.
“Werewolves howl. Phantoms prowl. Halloween’s upon us now.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
“Candy doesn’t have to have a point. That’s why it’s candy.” — Charlie Bucket, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”
“Halloween: the night that fathers get their hearts broken when they see their daughters costume.” — Whitney Cummings
“It’s a full moon tonight. That’s why all the weirdos are out.” – Dani, Hocus Pocus
Trick or treat, bag of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.
99 problems but a witch ain’t one
Pretty sure Gourd of the Rings deserves an Oscar.
“If the ghost of a murdered girl really existed I think she’d have something better to do than haunt people who don’t forward chain emails.” — Rhys James
This is my magic happy potion
They say it was love at first bite—fangs and all.
So that is it for our list of Short Halloween Quotes. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
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About the Author
Laynni Deir
I am Laynni Deir, writer and editor of Purely Lists. There are times when you are looking for inspiration or aren’t sure what to say and I am committed to providing lists of the best quotes, sayings, messages, puns or captions for any occasion. Whether you are looking for a positive quote, a message for a card, a fun saying for a letter board or caption for your next post or story, you will find the perfect option here.
The goal of Purely Lists is to provide a comprehensive and diverse set of lists to cover every situation from holidays and celebrations to uplifting quotes and general motivation. Whether you are looking for something deep and profound, funny and foolish or positive and encouraging, we strive to offer easy, fast and accessible options.