Birthdays can be a lot of fun and often very funny as well, which is why we have gathered all the best funny happy birthday wishes for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny birthday messages for cards, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Happy Birthday Wishes
Happy birthday — I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!
Happy birthday! I think it’s great… How you used to be young.
Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!
Remember, age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it.
If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him. Happy Birthday!
Whoever said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks never met you.
May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.
Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday queen.
One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids Get off my lawn! Everyone loves that guy!
They say the older you get, the wiser you become. So, at your age, you must be the wisest person I know… or at least the one with the most birthdays.
Cheers to the one who knows all my secrets and still decides to be seen in public with me. Happy birthday, bestie!
I smell old people! Oh, wait no that’s just you. Happy birthday!
Birthdays are like golfing — it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count!
It’s time to get this party started! But seriously, let’s get a move on—we both know you can’t stay up past 10 p.m.
Every day we celebrate you… but today, you get a card.
For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there!
I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up.
Happiest of birthdays to she she to my Nanigans!
Happy birthday, bestie! Remember, age is just a number, but in your case, it’s a really high one. Just kidding – you’re like a fine wine, getting better with age. Or maybe just fermented. Cheers!
You’re the Thelma to my Louise, the Snoop to my Martha, and the Selena to my Taylor.
Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you. Happy birthday!
You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t quite look as old as a dried up prune yet.
Happy birthday to someone who is not only a year older but also a year closer to qualifying for the senior discount. Enjoy the perks, ancient one!
Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt!
Those aren’t gray hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happy Birthday.
Don’t forget to smile uncomfortably when the whole family sings you Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday best friend! Here’s to another year of laughing at our own jokes, dealing with stupid people and keeping each other sane!
You’re not old!… Oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that… Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and aged cheese. You get better with age!
Happy birthday to the person who has seen me at my best, my worst, and my weirdest… and still loves me anyway! You’re stuck with me for life!
Happy birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.
Congratulations on reaching an age where your back goes out more than you do! Happy birthday, and may your joints be as flexible as your sense of humor.
Since it’s your birthday, I’ll tell you now you’re a real catch. Fishing you a reel-y happy birthday!
At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober… Disappoint them. Happy Birthday!
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
The secret to staying young is make up… Make up an age, then stick with it! Happy Birthday!
One minute, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. I think we both know which you are… Happy birthday!
Happy National [Name] Day!
Pst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday!
Age is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!
I just want to say on your special day, thanks for always being older than me.
If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you. That’s how much you mean to me.
Happy Birthday from one fabulous gal to another!
Another year, another candle on the cake. At this rate, your cake is going to need its own fire extinguisher.
Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
It’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to; however, I don’t recommend it.
Smart, good looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!
Like cheese and fine wine, you’re only getting better with time!
I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming.
A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. Happy birthday!
You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!
Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
It’s your birthday, you know what that means. Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Good times!
We’re both getting old, but who’s counting? Happy birthday!
How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays.
It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.
It’s so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!
I would have made you a funny card, but I know at your age bladder control can be a problem…
Happy Birthday! When I grow up I want to be just like you… But hopefully with more hair!
Happy birthday to a real life Insta baddie.
Birthdays are like vacations: infrequent and fleeting.
Happy birthday and keep up the good work getting older!
My birthday wish for you is that your hangover tomorrow isn’t too bad.
Have you heard? In banana years, you’re ripe enough for bread!
Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit. But make sure you check it for wrinkles first!
Remember, age is just a number. In your case, a really, really high one.
You’re turning the perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more.
Birthdays are a lot like golf… It’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. Happy birthday!
You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!
On your birthday I thought I’d just let you in on a little secret.
Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!
Have a drink for me on your birthday! Or two…or four!
What did one veggie say to the other on its birthday? Ha pea birthday.
Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday from the one who endures your farts and loves you all the same.
To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer.
Happy birthday to a guy who still isn’t showing his age… And definitely not acting it.
A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.
On the occasion of your birthday, here are some words of wisdom just for you. Make sure to keep on smiling, while you still have teeth!
Happy birthday to one of the only people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis! Well, most days.
Don’t let old age get you down! It’s way to hard to get back up. Happy birthday, man!
Happy birthday! You’re like a fine wine—getting older only makes you more valuable and smell a little funky!
I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
I can’t tell if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. HBD!
Great news! You’re still alive! Happy birthday!
Happy Womb Emigration Day.
They say the older you are, the wiser you become. At this rate, you’re basically Socrates!
It’s your birthday! I’m bringing the fire extinguisher!
I’d give you my last chicken nugget. That’s really saying something. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, bestie! Here’s a long life together, so we can be 100 and still gossiping like teens.
Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, just drink whatever’s in the glass!
Happy Birthday! For your special day I made you a cake. BOOM YOU’RE A CAKE! You’re so very welcome.
Like the clothes we covet, you’re not old, but vintage! Happy birthday!
You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older? Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but wrinkles are real estate for wisdom!
Happy Birthday to you. In your honor I will refrain from doing the Whip and Nae Nae dance!
For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. Happy Birthday!
Here’s to many more rotations around the sun. May you live to be old and toothless
Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t know how to load a dishwasher or fill the gas tank on her car!
Let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday!
Thanks for being such a great guy! Great big, that is. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.
May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday!
Cheers to another year of making questionable decisions together!
A lady never reveals her…um… age. Yah, that sounds right. Happy birthday, lady!
Let them eat cake. And by them, I mean you!
Happy birthday! Super glad you were born.
You aren’t old, you’re a classic!
If things get better with age, then you’re approaching magnificent! Happy Birthday.
Like an iPhone, you upgrade each year!
Wow, another year under your belt. Just let me know how old we’re telling people you are now?
You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise you’re pretty cool. Happy birthday!
You know what they say about more candles… A bigger wish! Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday to the greatest female homosapien to ever walk the planet! Evolution stopped when it created you!
In dog years you’re dead. Happy birthday to a man’s best friend!
Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.
Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!
Another day older is another day to chug more cake. Happy Birthday.
You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!
Happy birthday! We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile… then, we’ll be new friends!
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. You’re doing pretty well!
A little advice on your special day, there is no shame in the Botox game. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!
Congratulations on the level-up!
Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember how old you are. So, how old are you again?
Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Celebrate your birthday like a cat: by turning up the mewsic.
Party hard, but maybe bring a second set of underwear with you this time hahaha.
I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us. Happy birthday!
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
You’re not getting older; you’re just upgrading to a version with more ‘wisdom’ and fewer ‘teeth.’
You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!
Happy Easter. Christmas. Independence Day. You know what? Just eat your darn cake!
It’s better to be over the hill than buried under it.
May you live so long your wrinkles have wrinkles. Happy birthday!
Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!
I mean, you have ME so I don’t know what else you have to wish for… but go off I guess…
Happy birthday to someone who’s aging like a fine cheese, getting stinkier and more delicious with each passing year!
Last year your birthday cake looked like a prairie fire! Keep adding those candles!
Happy birthday! I’m so pleased to hear you’re over the hill instead of under it.
So that is it for our list of Funny Birthday Wishes. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
For more great ideas, check out our other lists of Short Birthday Captions, Happy Birthday Wishes, Ways to Say Thank You for the Birthday Wishes, Happy First Birthday Captions, Birthday Wishes for Best Friends and Birthday Wishes for Sister.
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About the Author
Laynni Deir
I am Laynni Deir, writer and editor of Purely Lists. There are times when you are looking for inspiration or aren’t sure what to say and I am committed to providing lists of the best quotes, sayings, messages, puns or captions for any occasion. Whether you are looking for a positive quote, a message for a card, a fun saying for a letter board or caption for your next post or story, you will find the perfect option here.
The goal of Purely Lists is to provide a comprehensive and diverse set of lists to cover every situation from holidays and celebrations to uplifting quotes and general motivation. Whether you are looking for something deep and profound, funny and foolish or positive and encouraging, we strive to offer easy, fast and accessible options.