Babies can be hilarious in their own way, not to mention the funny things that happen having a baby around, so we have gathered all the best funny baby captions for Instagram for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny baby quotes for captions, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Baby Captions for Instagram
I’m made of sugar (and a little bit of spice!).
My mom’s not a regular mom; she’s a cool mom.
His hands stole my heart. His little feet ran away with it.
How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world.
“A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Instructions not included.
Of course I’m cute! Have you seen my Mommy?
Babies change everything.
A baby boy may leave smudges in the house and also on your heart.
I got my mind on my mommy and my mommy on my mind.
Oh, the things babies make me do
You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.
I still live with my parents.
When your baby starts laughing at your funny face
Happiness is homemade.
“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” — Tina Fey
It’s too early for this kind of cuteness?
The snuggle is real.
I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.
“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” — Marshall McLuhan
Your tiny adventures always keep us in stitches.
A baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller, and a home happier.
“They eat, they crap, they sleep. And if they’re crying, they need to do one of the three and they’re having trouble doing it. Real simple.” — Matthew McConaughey
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” — Milton Berle
Ice, ice [baby].
If olive oil is made from olives then what is baby oil made from?!?
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” — Lane Olinghouse
“Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.” — Mark Twain
You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it.
“Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” — Alyson Hannigan
You were the missing piece to our puzzle.
No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby.
“A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.” — Milwaukee Journal
Fresh out of the oven and ready for snugglin’.
You’re my favourite reason ever to lose sleep.
“They vomit a lot. For a second I thought I needed to rename my first Linda Blair and hire a priest because she was spitting up so much.” — Jimmy Fallon
Spit happens.
Boss baby.
“I [Facetime] sometimes from home. I’m just in the other room going, ’Yeah, daddy misses you, but gotta watch the game.” — Jimmy Fallon
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
Happiness is the laughter of babies.
“How could something so small create so much of something so disgusting?” — Steve Guttenberg, Three Men and a Baby
“Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.” — Anne Lamott
Our family is now complete.
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” — Jon Stewart
Parenthood: the scariest hood you’ll ever go through.
“Sleep is like the unicorn — it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any.” — Dr. Seuss
Now I genuinely believe in love at first sight.
This is our happily ever after.
“I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.” — Robert Orben
I love you to the moon and back.
Oh hi! I’m a needy baby and I want things.
Eat, nap, repeat.
“If you were to open up a baby’s head — and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should — you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.” — Dave Barry
Little hands and little feet, our little boy is oh so sweet.
“I didn’t know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.” — Loretta Lynn
You can outgrow a mother’s lap, but never her heart.
Storm Pooper.
This dude is about to eat his fist
I’m not crying; I’m just ordering dinner.
Of course I’m cute! Have you seen my Mommy?
Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park that is.
Sleep? Yes, I have a vague recollection of what that was like.
Ok, we like beards and baristas…but sometimes you just need a baby to make your day.
Be still, my heart!
My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well played.
“When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!’” — Bruce Lansky
My parents think they’re in charge. They’re so cute.
If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart.
“A crying baby is the best form of birth control.” — Carole Tabron
Hello, my name is Trouble.
From small beginnings come great things.
Congrats, you’ll soon live in a madhouse run by a tiny army you created yourself.
“Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.” — Shannon Fife
Hello, I’m new here!
Let me love you a little more before you’re not little anymore.
“Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.” — Jim Gaffigan
The first night your baby sleeps eight hours straight, you think you’d celebrate. Instead, you will run into their room thinking ‘Oh my god, are they breathing?!’
You’re so small, yet you take up my entire heart.
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot
Your first breath took ours away.
Who’s laughing at these silly faces? These babies are cracking themselves up!
Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart.
Do you like it? We made it ourselves.
You’re everything I never knew I wanted.
Ain’t no Mama like the one I’ve got.
Home is where my baby is.
This home runs on cuddles and caffeine.
Ten little fingers, ten perfect toes.
Babies are bits of stardust.
“You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.” — Billy Madison
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.” — Erma Bombeck
“Don’t ever tell the mother of a newborn that her baby’s smile is just gas.” — Jill Woodhull
Naptorious K.I.D.
The Force (of Cuteness) is strong in this one.
The best thing about being a parent is that you will never be your first priority.
Giggles, curls, ribbons, and bows! Our baby girl is so adorable from head to toe.
We made a wish, and you came true.
Hello, I’m new here!
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” — Franklin P. Jones
Be still my heart!
“When you have a baby sleep is not an option. You can’t sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.” — Jimmy Fallon
If I could give you an attribute, that would be utter cuteness. Welcome to the world, little one.
Let her sleep, for when she wakes up, she will move mountains.
“Children are a great comfort in your old age — and they help you reach it faster, too.” — Lionel Kauffman
Just realized what little humans we used to be
My mother thought I was the cutest in the family. You proved her wrong.
The littlest feet make the biggest footprints in our hearts.
Our family is now complete.
The days are long, but the years are short.
Life is going so fast! Before you know it, those tiny hands will be texting you for money.
I’ll have a bottle of your finest house white, please.
A wonderful miracle happened to me, that is YOU.
“The only things kids wear out faster than their shoes are their parents.” — John J. Plomp
You’re my favorite reason ever to lose sleep.
“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.” — Kin Hubbard
“Our baby in particular is, we think, allergic to sleep. We think that she thinks that she’s protecting us from the sleep monsters. She’s like ‘Oh, I gotta keep them up or the sleep monsters will get them.’” — Ryan Reynolds
Meet the newest addition to our family, who’s stolen our hearts.
“Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.” — Ambrose Bierce
It’s the little things in life.
Our sequel is released!
Welcome to parenthood, where your favorite new game will be ‘guess that bodily fluid.’
Now I believe in angels.
Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart.
Product of Netflix and chill.
Our sequel is released!
Nobody puts baby in a corner.
Tiny but mighty.
Dream big, little one.
Tax deduction.
Thank you for choosing me.
It’s the little things in life.
You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it.
Shhh, don’t tell my parents… but I’m winning.
Ninety percent of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
When I was born I was so mad at my parents that I didn’t talk to them for two years.
“I was on planes [and] when babies would cry, I would be mad at the families. Now I’m like, ‘Let them cry, let them do whatever they want. They can sit on me and poop if they want.’ Now I know more.” — Mindy Kaling
“There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.” — Peter De Vries
Spit up is my new favorite accessory. No outfit is complete without it.
“I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.” — Tiffani Thiessen
“Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.” — Ed Howe
“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.” — Olivia Wilde
Future crawler.
“No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant.” — Amy Leslie
And though she is but little, she is fierce.
Sentenced to 9 months — released early for good behaviour.
That moment when you go to check on your sleeping baby and their eyes ping open so you drop to the floor and roll out of the room like a ninja.
“24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!” — Jodi Picoult
Twinkle twinkle, little star. Do you know how loved you are?
Alexa, change my diaper.
Babies are a link between angels and humans.
Those chubby cheeks and sparkling eyes.
You know you’re old when you barely do anything all day but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.
“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.” — Maurice Johnston
Babies are like little milkshakes. Cute, but hard to swallow.
“People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.” — Leo Burke
It’s just a phase, but he’s having the time of his life.
Last name ‘Ever,’ first name ‘Cutest.
“You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict.” — Blake Lively
Babies are cutest when they’re someone else’s problem.
Having a baby changes everything—for the first time.
Babies change everything.
Have you made people yet?
When life gets me down, I think of this face.
“Babies are always more trouble than you thought — and more wonderful.” — Charles Osgood
This home runs on cuddles and caffeine.
Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit. They hold the baby and I go out.
I’m getting pretty good at this, I think she likes me!
“If parenthood came with a GPS, it would mostly say ‘recalculating.’” — Simon Cholland
“If you want to know what it’s like to have a fourth kid, just imagine you are drowning and someone hands you a fourth kid.” — Jim Gaffigan
These are some #diaperchanges… Mind. Blown.
You are hereby charged with being exceptionally cute.
“Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” — Nia Vardalos
The second man to have stolen my heart.
“Having children is like living in a frat house- nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” — Ray Romano
My cute little champ!
You are my sunshine.
So that is it for our list of Funny Baby Captions and Quotes. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
For more great ideas, check out our other lists Baby Boy Captions, Baby Girl Captions and Kid Captions.
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About the Author
Laynni Deir
I am Laynni Deir, writer and editor of Purely Lists. There are times when you are looking for inspiration or aren’t sure what to say and I am committed to providing lists of the best quotes, sayings, messages, puns or captions for any occasion. Whether you are looking for a positive quote, a message for a card, a fun saying for a letter board or caption for your next post or story, you will find the perfect option here.
The goal of Purely Lists is to provide a comprehensive and diverse set of lists to cover every situation from holidays and celebrations to uplifting quotes and general motivation. Whether you are looking for something deep and profound, funny and foolish or positive and encouraging, we strive to offer easy, fast and accessible options.