Keeping the mood light can help make the workday fly by, so we have put together a list of all the best short funny work sayings for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny work sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Short Funny Work Sayings
My coffee mug may be half empty, but my job satisfaction is full… of sarcasm.
My job is 90% staring at screens, 10% panicking about deadlines.
I work because I love money. Just kidding, I love avoiding stress.
I don’t wear the same clothes to work every day. I wear pajamas to work every day.
Hard work is its own reward after the coffee kicks in.
We’re a finely tuned team. I bring the chaos, they handle the panic.
Why work harder when you can work smarter…and blame it on your coworkers?
I’m multitasking: procrastinating and being unproductive at the same time.
I love my job, it’s the work I’m not fond of.
Being the boss just means you have more people to blame when things go wrong.
I work hard because my boss lets me…when they’re not watching.
Teamwork is dreamwork, and dreams are mostly weird.
Mondays are proof that weekends are way too short.
I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.
I’m working hard so my future dog can have a backyard.
I’m all about balance. 80% work, 20% looking at cat videos.
I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year.
When life gives you Mondays, go back to bed.
I have a healthy work-life balance. It’s 80% coffee, 20% cake.
I have a strong relationship with office coffee, but it’s complicated.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
I have an ambition to sleep eight hours a day, whatever that is.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
Ctrl + Alt + Delete: The universal work reset button.
Why work harder when you can work smarter…and blame it on your coworkers?
I love teamwork. It lets you blame someone else for eating the last donut.
After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
I don’t get paid enough to care this much.
Another year down and you’re still the reigning champion of the ‘longest lunch break’. Congrats!
Work-life balance? I’m more of a ‘work-life comedy’ person.
Work: where your dreams of a clutter-free desk go to die.
Life without coffee is like a broken pencil—pointless.
Work attire: the art of looking like you tried without actually trying.
Work hard, nap hard.
Technology is great…until it crashes during a meeting.
Is it casual Friday yet? Because my spirit animal is a pair of sweatpants.
I’m out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.
They say there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team,’ but there’s definitely a ‘me’ if you look hard enough.
My work is so much fun, I forget I’m working—until I look at my paycheck.
My idea of a perfect workday is one where no work happens.
My daily work routine: Rush, panic, eat lunch, repeat.
I’m not sure what my job is, but I’m pretty good at pretending.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
My office dress code is: business on the top, pajamas on the bottom.
I’m out here living my best life, one spreadsheet at a time.
I survived another meeting that could have been a text.
Some days, the best thing about the job is that the chair spins.
My dream job is one where I don’t have to work.
My keyboard is my instrument, and I’m composing the symphony of hard work.
Sorry for the delay, I was too busy replying to my other 100 emails.
My team follows a strict diet: we swallow our pride.
I communicate best through sarcastic emails and passive-aggressive notes.
My keyboard must be broken; pressing ‘Escape’ doesn’t take me anywhere.
Multitasking: The art of stressing about many things all at once.
Working hard or hardly working? Why not both?
Bosses are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
Teamwork makes the dream work, except when you have that one coworker.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
I didn’t work this hard to be this broke.
Happy Workiversary! You’ve officially stayed longer than the office plants!
Work hard, dream big, and keep your Wi-Fi signal strong.
There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there is a ‘me’.
I love my job, but my office is more of a hostage situation.
I’m just here to collect a paycheck
When laughter echoes through the office, productivity soars.
I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.
I’m not antisocial; I’m just selectively social. Mainly, I select not to.
Work stress is just my brain doing push-ups.
I’m not running late, I’m just early for tomorrow.
The first 5 days of the week are the hardest.
My job taught me the art of the invisible: doing nothing and looking busy.
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel
I plan to do absolutely nothing all day and still somehow manage to be late.
Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.
Overworked and underpaid. Is that the American Dream?
Working as a team means half the work and twice the credit.
I’ve got 99 problems, and work-life balance is 98 of them.
I love long meetings. It gives me time to think about my life decisions.
My career plan: make coffee, work, retire.
Work smarter, not harder—unless you’re trying to impress your boss.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for their things.
Nothing says teamwork like awkward silences and muted microphones.
Work hard in silence; let your coffee machine make the noise.
Who needs a work-life balance when you have free office snacks?
Let me Google that real quick to pretend I know what I’m doing.
I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.
My favorite part of working is the 2 pm snack.
I have a great work-life balance: 70% work, 30% pretending to work.
The best part of coming to work is going home at the end of the day.
Work: where I’m forward-looking, just toward weekends.
I’m not a workaholic. I’m work-frolic because I dance through the chaos.
Work snacks are the secret to surviving the day.
We need to invent a day between Saturday and Sunday.
I would like to work less, but I’m addicted to Netflix.
Nothing makes you more productive than the last minute.
I follow my passion at work—the passion for not working overtime.
The ‘I’ in ‘team’ is hidden in the A-hole. Makes sense for our group.
Productivity is just procrastination with deadlines.
I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring.
I’m calling out for tomorrow. I don’t have enough brain cells to show up.
I’m not slacking off. My job is just in energy-saving mode.
My boss said I intimidate others. I said, ‘Good, I’m doing my job.’
Success is 99% coffee and 1% avoiding coworkers.
Keep calm and pretend this is on the lesson plan.
I stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about.
Work is the curse of the drinking class. — Oscar Wilde
I asked my co-worker to be more specific. They sent me a detailed blank stare.
Coworkers make work interesting-sometimes for reasons we cannot explain
I wear a suit because my job is serious, but my heart says sweatpants.
Appreciate your job, not many people can look this busy doing nothing.
Deadlines are suggestions, right?
My office culture? Pretend to work while others pretend to care.
Lunch breaks are like adult recess. The slide is now a sandwich.
Coffee: the only reason I show up to work.
I love the sound of ‘we need to talk’ in emails.
The coffee machine is the real meeting room where all decisions are made.
Emails are like gremlins; they multiply by the night and feast on my sanity.
Teamwork: the art of making someone else do your work.
This meeting could have been an email.
My computer asked me to start ‘living’ today. I think it needs an update.
Deadlines are like vampires—they suck the life out of you.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
A meeting is an event where minutes are kept and hours are lost.
I used up all my sick leave, so I called in dead.
The best part about going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
My co-worker’s stapler is more dependable than Monday’s motivational meeting.
Our team works best like a silent movie – no talking, just wild gesticulations.
Time management is a great way to spend time managing your time.
I’m not overworked. I’m just underpaid for what I do.
Teamwork: because we can blame each other for everything.
I’m not stressed. I’m just trying to figure out how to avoid working.
If nothing is impossible, I’ve been doing the impossible for years.
There’s an ‘I’ in ‘team’ if you look hard enough in the reflection of my coffee cup.
I’m the best team player. I delegate everything to others.
I’m just here to collect a paycheck.
Coffee: because adulting is hard.
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
My workday starts after my coffee ends.
Work-life balance is a myth, like clean offices or free lunch.
I practice work stress yoga. It’s just like regular yoga, but with more screaming.
I’ve perfected my job role: professional meeting attendee.
Why do it today when it can be a panic-inducing emergency tomorrow?
Work-life balance is like a unicorn; often discussed, rarely spotted.
Dear Monday, nobody likes you. Stop showing up uninvited.
I’m not stressed. I’m just passionately chaotic.
I wish my job had a snooze button.
My co-worker’s spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.
Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But then again, I wasn’t the one in charge.
A team is a machine with many parts: I’m the off switch.
Stress? That’s just my adult word for ‘too much adulting.
The problem with communication is the ‘other person’.
Today I will work hard and complain about it just as hard.
One more year of being the office’s favorite coffee fetcher. Cheers to that!
My computer screen is a magic mirror that says I need more sleep.
Group projects helped me understand why Batman works alone.
Jobs are like toddlers, if it’s too quiet, you know something’s wrong.
My coffee is demanding a raise for dealing with my work stress.
Stress level: Trying to fold a fitted sheet.
My team’s spirit animal is a sloth – we stick together slowly but surely.
My team is great. We work together like an old car: it takes time to get started
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, and motivation.
Teamwork makes the dream work…unless your team sucks.
We’re a green office. We recycle jokes every day.
Behind every successful employee is a substantial amount of coffee.
Stress is the secret ingredient to a successful workday.
Lunch break: the time to discuss what you’re going to eat for dinner.
Balance is having the same amount of coffee in your cup as hours slept last night.
Office coffee is like office gossip—strong, bitter, and never enough.
My job is a lot like gardening, I plant seeds and hope something grows.
The only time I’m on time is when I’m waiting for the clock to strike 5.
Some people work hard. Others are hardly working.
My paycheck is like a magic trick, one minute it’s there and the next—poof—gone.
Our bosses might not always get it, but here’s how we feel about them:
Procrastinators unite…tomorrow.
Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.
The best part of my job is that the coffee is free.
Some people graduate with honors; I am just honored to graduate.
At work, I’m as stealthy as a cat. Nobody notices me until I step on a computer mouse.
My workday: 80% trying to be productive, 20% checking if it’s the weekend yet.
Work-life balance? Sorry, no results found. Try again.
A job is like a relationship; it’s complicated, but you stick around for the perks.
Deadlines are just my boss’s way of saying he believes in my time travel skills.
Stress at work? I prefer the term ‘extreme career enthusiasm.’
Our team is environmentally friendly: we recycle all our unused ideas.
I work hard because my dreams are big, but my bank account is small.
Sometimes my greatest work accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.
I love the work-life balance…especially the part where I don’t work.
My team is great. We work together like an old car: it takes time to get started.
If work was so great, the rich would have kept it for themselves.
My job is a comedy of errors, I just need a laugh track.
Office gossip is the duct tape of coworker relationships.
I would quit, but I’m too broke to go anywhere else.
Congrats on surviving another year without being fired!
I always bring a notebook to meetings. It makes people think I care.
Monday is the day I like to gift myself a second coffee to pretend I’m energized.
Our office doesn’t gossip; we distribute essential company news.
Success is like a unicorn; it takes a bit of magic and a lot of belief.
So that is it for our list of Short Funny Work Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
For more great ideas, check out our other lists of Short Teamwork Quotes, Funny Work Quotes and Farewell Messages for Colleagues.
Pin it for later!
About the Author
Laynni Deir
I am Laynni Deir, writer and editor of Purely Lists. There are times when you are looking for inspiration or aren’t sure what to say and I am committed to providing lists of the best quotes, sayings, messages, puns or captions for any occasion. Whether you are looking for a positive quote, a message for a card, a fun saying for a letter board or caption for your next post or story, you will find the perfect option here.
The goal of Purely Lists is to provide a comprehensive and diverse set of lists to cover every situation from holidays and celebrations to uplifting quotes and general motivation. Whether you are looking for something deep and profound, funny and foolish or positive and encouraging, we strive to offer easy, fast and accessible options.